This is hands down the best parody twitter ever
when you have the hiccups while trying to sleep
Im on mobile so I don’t know if the pic is actually of something, or if it’s legit just a stupid gray box
and the circle is complete
pro tip: in a zombie apocalypse, your first stop shouldn’t be a guns shop, it should be a hardware store. not only are they stocked with enough caustic materials and sharp weaponry to make your head spin, they usually also have camping and survival gear as well as food. and most are windowless and easy to defend. just saying.
pro tip 2: Buy the shark mail that divers use. If a shark can’t bite through it, neither can a zombie
turn down for what
That’s not a dog its Albert Einstein
what do u call a backstabbing grocer
"omg why are you crying?" "the economy, bro"
don’t underestimate me. i’ll wear sweaters in the summer. i’ll eat like eighteen gallons of ice cream in the winter. fuck the temperature. i don’t give a fuck
THIS IS MY NEW FAVOURITE LINE
sometimes I want to listen to soft nice indie music and sometimes I want to listen to heavy metal rock and sometimes I want to listen to hardcore gangster rap and that’s just life
Thinking youre attractive but having a lot of insecurities is like having a crush on yourself but not knowing if you like yourself back.
SOMEONE SAID IT